Benjamin Wayne Torrey, maker and doer

Floating Dream (“I Loved that Walk that We Walked”) Digital. 2019.

__underdog__ (x+c): What is an underdog?

*Benjamin: I think an underdog is someone who tries to accomplish something without having all the resources that might be available to other people.

__underdog__: Are you an artist? Why or why not~ Benjamin: Yeah! I think so! I've made art in the past, and I hope to continue making art in the future. __underdog__: Are you part of a “scene”? What is the scene and how do you view it? Benjamin: I guess I don't currently feel like I'm a part of any scene. For a while, I felt connected to what was going on with house shows in Ithaca—first as an audience member, then as a host and performer—but I haven't felt up to participating the last couple of years, and a lot of my closest friends and collaborators have since moved on to other cities. I'm sure there's still a house show "scene" here, but I'm not really aware of what it looks like or where it's going on anymore. Benjamin: On a broader level, I guess I do feel like I belong to a network of artists and friends that have come in and out of town here, but does that qualify as a scene? __underdog__: What do you believe in? Benjamin: Empathy. Without empathy, shit goes downhill fast. The most regrettable moments of my life are whenever I've acted without empathy. I like to think I'm an empathic person, but I generally think we can always do a better job of treating others with basic respect and compassion. I'm very lucky to have friends who remind me of this.

__underdog__: Is there a philosophy you apply to art making or life in general? Benjamin: I wish I could say I put more philosophical or intellectual thought into my work. Generally, I'm just expressing whatever I'm feeling at the time, often when I'm trying to understand negative feelings. I tend to value honesty and directness in art. Honesty by not shying away from confronting the uglier parts of my brain. Benjamin: I think of being "direct" as not obfuscating messages beneath complex poetry or layers of texture—I appreciate when ideas are communicated in bold, plain language. Often, I'll admit, I'm REALLY bad at this, and will just make poetic nonsense or textural stuff that only really appeals to me formally, and I have to imbue it with meaning later. This is sort of a backwards way of working that sometimes yields cool results, but often backfires into me just doodling. Which there's also value in!

Directed by Benjamin Torrey . Gaffer: Claire McClusky. Choreography: X Senn-Yuen Rance. Dancers: X Senn-Yuen Rance, Tori Parham, Ariella Ranz. Live Painting: Zachsquatch.

__underdog__: Where does your work come from? What drives you and your practice? Benjamin: If I'm struggling or feeling things, I will make stuff when left to my own devices. I don't always feel up to creating art, but often I can't really help it. There's a simple catharsis to having stuff inside of you that you can successfully get out of you. Benjamin: I'm also driven to make art when I'd like to understand something or make it less scary. I love to travel alone, for example, and take photos while I do. It helps me to learn new places and pay better attention to my surroundings. I feel more present and less afraid. Similarly, writing music or drawing helps me to pay better attention to my feelings and thoughts, and to understand them better. __underdog__: What challenges do you face and how do you deal with them? Benjamin: Besides dealing with money, managing my mental health has always been my number one challenge. I'm lucky to have friends dealing with similar issues who can relate to what I'm going through and provide support. That's been huge for me the last several years. But I've also been in therapy to some degree on-and-off for over a decade now, and I've just recently started taking medication after being diagnosed as bipolar. All of that has been significant to my survival.

__underdog__: Please share any biographical or identity information you’d like us to know. Benjamin: My name is Benjamin Wayne Torrey, I identify with the pronouns he/him or they/them. I grew up just outside of Ithaca, New York. After dropping out of high school, I earned an associate's in fine arts photography from Tompkins Cortland Community College, then transferred to Ithaca College where I got my bachelor's in cinema production. I currently work primarily as a freelance photographer and videographer. __underdog__: Is your work important? Explain? Benjamin: Haha, I want to say "no" really badly! In the grand scheme of things, it probably isn't, but a lot of things aren't important in the grand scheme of things. Some people have told me my work is meaningful to them, and I'm incredibly grateful to know that. I think any art can be potentially meaningful to someone, and that alone means there's worth in making it and putting it out there. __underdog__: How would you describe your work to someone who can’t perceive it with the main sense it applies to. Benjamin: I write music, make photos and videos, and draw things. All of it is produced kind of quickly, but with some care. I'm sad a lot of the time, but I appreciate humor, and I'd like to think that comes through in my work. My music tends to be folky, sometimes poppy. My photo and video style is documentarian. And my drawings tend to be flat tracings of photos I've taken with bold colors. I often collaborate with other artists and musicians, and I like to make work about subcultures. __underdog__: CATS OR DOGS?!?! Benjamin: They're both wonderful and terrible.

*Benjamin's name is typed here in orange to help some readers distinguish between their responses and our questions. If you have suggestions on how we can increase the accessibility of our "questionings" or any content on our website, please email us at: underdogmagazining@gmail.com.